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User talk:RipTideGx2
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Strange Boy page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Underscorre (talk) 16:51, February 19, 2015 (UTC) Advice If you need any advice on what not to do and what to do or how to write a pasta. Leave a message on my talk page RainingSlayerBlood (talk) 17:53, February 19, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:11, February 19, 2015 (UTC) Re: Stories Both your stories were deleted for the same issues (not being up to our quality standards) I am going to explain the latest one I deleted as they both had similar issues. "The Strange Boy" had: Capitalization issues: "Who is he? what does he want?" You forget to capitalize "I" a number of times. " I was bullied because everyone said i was..." Punctuation issues: spoken dialogue needs a comma in front of it and it needs punctuation within the quotations to conclude it. ""OK(,)" I said. ", "He opened the door and said(,) "Step inside, friend.", "said(,) "You lied, you said we were friends, friends don't run from each other."" Additionally avoid using ellipses as a 'dramatic pause' as it makes your sections seem melodramatic. ("And it reeked... of blood.") While on the topic of blood, you might want to use some other descriptors other than everything being covered in blood. Wording issues: "There were dead bodies all over the room. Dismembered bodies, burnt bodies, beheaded bodies, I was absolutely terrified." (Dismembered and beheaded imply the same thing.) You shift from past tense to present tense a number of times through-out the story. "And (Don't start sentences with conjunctions) I see (saw) my parents... Dead, laying in pools of their own blood. and (And) then I hear (heard) laughter behind me and (redundancy) I turn (turned) around and see (saw) the boy. " Story issues: "I had no friends, mainly because i was shy, and because i was bullied. I was punched, kicked, called names, and even taunted on my way home from school." It seems like if the protagonist is being bullied, you should give a possible explanation for why instead of just leaving it open and explaining it away with saying she had no friends. (because I was different/because I was new/etc.) How did the teenager murder all of those people and why were they all just kept in this house? It raises more questions and leaves a lot of plot holes. How did he over-power them all? How did he lure them there? How come no one saw or heard anything? Then there's the scene where the protagonist returns home to find their parents dead. How did this happen? How did the antagonist murder her parents if their encounter on her way home is unplanned? The story feels rushed and bordering on problematic with the introduction of the murderer. Those were a few of the reasons I deleted that story although your other had many of the same issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:35, February 19, 2015 (UTC) :You still have to make a deletion appeal if you wish to reupload your story. Even if you correct the issues I pointed out as there still might be issues I didn't address or looked over while trying to get a response to you quickly. Uploading without permission will result in a warning and then a day long ban.I would strongly suggest re-working your story, taking time with it, and then making an appeal as if you try to appeal it in its current form it will most likely be denied. I would take your next story to the writer's workshop for feedback/assistance before uploading it to the main site. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:48, February 19, 2015 (UTC)